Trust April 10, 2024

If I do not

trust

You

enough to get

my daily rest,

I will continue

to burn myself

up and out,

constantly turning back

to recovery mode,

during which my recovery

seems to happen

more

and

more

s

l

o

w

l

y.

The idea of

slowing

and

stopping

this morning

makes me incredibly anxious,

but I know

in my head

that rest and balance

are what

You

want for me.

You also know

what I truly

need to accomplish

today

and

every

day.

Knowing about rest

and

how to rest

is not the trick.

It’s actually trusting

You

enough

to rest

e

v

e

r

y

day.

I feel

I’m stepping over

a threshold

with

You

today

at 9:18 a.m.

I want to live

a healthy life

with

a healthy balance.

I not only

want this for myself,

but I want

to model this

for my

family

and

friends,

because we all need

balance

and

true

rest.

Rest.

I accept

this invitation

from

You

in

trust.

May

I

find

true daily rest in

You

this

day…

© 2024 Brooke F. Sulahian

When I Cannot Write April 5, 2021

 Writing is one of my favorite things.

…

 I write in my journal,

 I write poetry,

 blogs,

 letters, cards and notes.

I love to write.

…

 I write to

 encourage people,

 thank others for their service,

 remind loved ones they are loved,

process my own thoughts,

 chat with God, and

 catalog my experiences

along my life path.

…

 Other people suffer more

 then me.

 I know this, but I also know

 my suffering is real.

…

 I do not yet know

 if my suffering is 

something I should accept

 as the new me,

 or

 something I should face as temporary

 and work patiently and diligently

 in hope as I seek

 a healthier new me.

I realize

 this answer, this information

 may be revealed to me,

 or it won’t.

 In faith, I trust my Creator

 as I walk a very unclear

 path ahead.

…

 I created this sharing,

 this poem, 

these words

 strung together to form 

sentences, ideas, and thoughts

 using voice type.

…

 During my suffering journey

 I have been so thankful for

 audiobooks, 

since simply reading books

 as a former favorite pastime

 has been taken from me.

 I have also  developed great gratitude

for voice type,

 since simply writing words and watching my

 words fill the page, 

can trigger

 health issues that send me back

 again

to bed.

…

 I voice typed these words

 not to complain,

 not to solicit pity,

 not to stew in negativity,

 but to share,

 to process,

to connect,

  to accept, 

to embrace,

this day

 my current state of

body and mind.

…

I wonder if I’ll ever know

 for certain

 if my current health state

 is my temporary health state

 or 

my new, long term health state.

…

I wonder if one day

 I’ll be able to read books 

for pleasure

 and

 create beauty 

through the physically written word

 without triggering

 negative health consequences.

…

 I believe I was made to write.

 Today I “write” with my voice.

I hope that one day

I can write

as I always have…

hand to pen to paper.

In hope…

© 2021 Brooke F. Sulahian