The weight of it
The size of it
I was buckling under it
My boulder
Huge
I felt like I was trying to be Atlas
Holding up the heavens
But
Failing
Horribly.
There He was
My Savior
My Christ
Jesus.
“What are you carrying?”
He asked.
“Systemic racism in the US
and my role in it as a
white person,”
I replied.
“That’s too much for you to carry,”
He said.
“I fear that if I put it down,
If I don’t carry it every moment,
I will become complacent…
Again,”
I admitted with pain in
my heart.
“Hmm. I have an offer for you,”
He said.
“What do You have for me?”
I asked.
“A better way,”
He replied.
He reached out His hand…
Something shiny and small
Was inside of it.
“Give me your boulder
And you can have this,”
He offered.
I looked up
From under my boulder
From under the weight of
Grief
Anger
Frustration
Injustice
Murder after senseless and heinous murder
Of Black men and boys
Over and over.
Wanting to have the silver bullet solution.
Wanting to rid our country of the
Systemic racism
That has been a tragic and awful
Building block of the US
From the very beginning.
What I saw in His hand was
The word “HOPE”
On a silver chain.
“I will take your boulder
and the weight of it all.
This, Hope, is what you need to remember.
This is what you get to carry,
For it is light, yet powerful.
I want you to focus on HOPE
I want you to remember HOPE.
I want you to carry HOPE,”
He said.
“HOPE fuels
Joy
Community
Solutions
Justice
Acceptance
Change
Inclusion
Love.
This is what you are to carry…
“HOPE.”
He shared.
I said “Yes!”
I gave Him my huge boulder
I accepted my “HOPE” charm
To be worn
To remember my source of HOPE
To remember the motivation for each step I take
To fuel effective and meaningful allyship
To fuel communication
To instruct my walk
As a white person
Actively grieving over the brokenness of our country
And wanting to partner
With my Black brothers and sisters
To find real solutions.
To never give up.
To HOPE.
This is not the final step in my journey…
There are no easy answers…
But this is a beginning…
© 2023 Brooke F. Sulahian